2005-02-14 - 9:43 a.m.
Those Meaningless Grammys
It's that time of year again, when an award show comes along to make the Emmys look hip and cool and relevant. Yes, it's Grammy time. They really know how to pack that show with cheese. Here's some stuff I made a mental note of during the broadcast.
- Yay for Zach Braff, Loretta Lynn and the ghost who went up on stage with her, Kanye West, Alicia Keys (cause I love that 'You Don't Know My Name' song soooo much), Jay Z, Prince (2 awards), and my much maligned friend Britney Spears on their trophies. She deserved it for 'Toxic,' a song that had even her haters dancing.
- John Mayer is gross and cheesy and completely overrated. He seems to think he's 45 years old, and James Taylor. Word to the wise, John: you're not. And we all remember that you dated Jennifer Love Hewitt. I guess this earsore will be winning these trophies till the end of time. Here's hoping someone bitch-slaps some sense into this mediocre troubadour.
- You can't compete against a really popular dead guy. That's the message I got last night. I wasn't overly upset about the Ray Charles streak, but it's a shame that in a year where they actually had some interesting nominees, the sentimental choice still prevailed. Ray Charles deserved this in a way because it's good music, but also because Ronald Reagan's death stole his thunder last year.
- The Black Eyed Peas are not a rap act, nor should they be nominated for a rap Grammy, nor should they win said rap Grammy, particularly for a song which originally went "Let's get RETARDED." I guess Jethro Tull didn't release an album this year so they weren't considered in their stead. Also, SHUT UP "FERGIE." Try to open your damn "starstruck" eyes when they take pictures of you. We still are well aware that you were in Kids Incorporated. And Wild Orchid. You don't have street cred, and you certainly won't acquire any hanging out in Best Buy commercials or dating the bland stud guy from Las Vegas. Whatever happened to your "sister" on the show? She was in Wild Orchid too, you know. I'm sure she could rock the vagina-baring shorts you wore at the Super Bowl. Martika would not approve.
- I'd like to also thank Mr. and Mrs. Manorexic Anthony for recreating five boring minutes of the overwrought telenovela we watched in Spanish class many moons ago. Who knew JLo could "sing" and brush her hair at the same time?!? I smell a theater career brewing! During this classic performance, I kept wondering if I was dreaming it all up. I asked my boyfriend several times if it was really happening this way on TV, and when the funky beat would kick in and she would start shakin' her ass to "Get Right." It was like we stumbled onto the Latin Tonys broadcast, and the Anthonys were up for "Most Opulent 70s Dressing Scene From A 'Days of Our Lives' Tribute Musical in Spanish." By turns awesome and horrifying, I think it was JLo's most astonishing performance yet. Kudos to you, Jen and Marc. Also, Marc, please eat a couple of cheeseburgers. Every day. For a year.
- Memo to Joss Stone: Melissa Etheridge kicked your ass. Vocally, stage presence-wise, and stylistically, even though she had no hair! Melissa gave a fantastic performance, and showed why she, not Renee Zellweger, should be playing Janis Joplin. She infused her performance with a power that comes from so many years of rockin'. Joss has a lovely, smoky voice, but she didn't connect to the material. She also didn't know what to do with herself on stage, pacing around like an OCD kid on a post-public restroom use bender, flailing her arms spastically and walking out of camera range, away from her band. Very strange. On a related Jossian note, I'd like the Grammys to start enforcing a No Shoes No Service policy when it comes to these performances. It isn't artistic. It's simply dangerous and unsanitary. You never know when you might step in Velvet Revolver sick.
- The "Across the Universe" tribute to the Tsunami segment was, as with the JLo segment above, like watching an exquisitely long car crash taking place. I love that they had Allison Krauss, of the loverly voice, up there with her fiddle and no lyrics, while they had people like a drugged out Scott Weiland trying to harmonize. She looked so bemused by the whole thing. So last minute, it might as well have been performed at a high school assembly. Good job!
2005-02-11 - 12:44 p.m.
Feld Man!
Any day where Corey Feldman tops E!Online's news page is a good day. I don't know if I'm more disturbed that Corey expected Michael Jackson of all people to save him from Al Qaeda on 9/11, or that he wrote a presumably shitty song about it.
2005-02-11 - 10:58 a.m.
Quick Bytes
I haven't updated in a while. Actually, I wrote this pretty awesome (if I do say so myself) entry about old guys kickin' ass and taking names on TV, but Internet Explorer blew up-as it is wont to do-as I was submitting it. So the whole thing was lost. And I couldn't bring myself to recreate it. Typical. Maybe I should get off my ass and download firefox for work. Whatever.
I just read some article about Gil Grissom, the dumpy lead on CSI, being hot. Apparently, he's big on the fanfic circuit. And probably in Berlin. I don't think I'd ever NOT kick any of the lead CSI boys out of my bed. Vegas guy is kinda creepy, New York guy is too tortured and has bug eyes, and Miami's guy is played by David Caruso, which is all that really needs to be said about that.
In other news, I'd like to give a shout-out to Prince Charles and his new fiancee. The poor miserable man should be able to finally marry the person he'd like to be reincarnated as a tampon for. Their weird, crazy, gross love has lasted for decades, and I don't think it was ever anyone's business to begin with. They must have really been in love all that time. Congrats Prince, and good luck with the whole becoming King thing before the end of your 80s. Cause your Momma's bound for the century mark, and there's no way she's retiring. Plus it's got to be a better fate than that whole tampon thing.
2005-02-04 - 10:37 a.m.
Another Rally
My office just had their big Eagles Rally for the Superbowl. Which means I just had some awesome spinach dip. On veggies. No chips today, I promise. Or cake. Although cake is not very tempting to me. I took my pictures and sang the fight song and stole a pompon like any good Philadelphian would.
The weird thing is how crazy the Eagles fans in the office are getting. It started in response to the three Patriot fans in the company and the one disillusioned Cowboys fan who supports anyone who takes on the Eagles. They've been militantly mobilizing this effort to blanket the office with Patriot logos, sending out e-mails to provoke the Eagles fans, and generally misbehaving. There have been like 14 e-mails back and forth this morning alone. Violence is not far off. Doesn't anyone have any work to do?
Whatever. I hope the Eagles can pull it out. Just to shut those people up. I'll be rooting for them. Hell, I even carefully reconstructed the outfit I wore two weeks ago for the NFC Championship Game Rally we had. Even though I look like a ginormous ass in this green top. If that's not devotion to a cause, I don't know what is.
2005-02-04 - 10:37 a.m.
2005-01-25 - 12:19 p.m.
Oscar The Grouch
The Oscar nominations came out today, and I'm getting very psyched for my favorite broadcast of the year. Unlike the Emmys, I'm usually not completely disgusted by the nominations, which is a refreshing change. Not that the Academy is so much more progressive, but unlike their TV brethren, they mix it up a little more.
So what do we make of Best Actor? The title above sorta refers to the old Academy's propensity to reward the fogeys in the crowd. Now, don't get me wrong, Clint Eastwood is a great actor and all, but I think he got enough kudos with the direction and all for Million Dollar Baby. It would have been nice to see Javier Bardem or even Liam Neeson in there.
As for the Best Actress nods, I am so ecstatic that Kate Winslet is up for Eternal Sunshine. I love her, and she is so utterly talented. I don't think she has a snowball's chance in hell of winning, but I'm always glad to see her name listed. She's going to get one soon, I have a feeling. It was also great to see Catalina Sandino Moreno from Maria Full of Grace honored.
Hollywood loves a re-match though, so this will be between Swank and Bening. Unless the tides shift dramatically, that is. Between the two of them, I go for Swank. Sure, she's got lantern man-jaw problems, but she's a 90210 alum AND the star of Dying to Belong, one of my all-time favorite Lifetime movies. it's the one about the sorority starring hot hot hot Mark-Paul Gossalear and Six from Blossom. I love that movie!
I have no real opinions on the Supporting Actors, but Best Supporting Actress is an interesting category. There's a lot of great actresses there. But I still can't totally forgive Natalie Portman for this and that, even though I loved Garden State. No, I'm pulling for Virginia Madsen. Why? She's been in a lot of great B-movies and kept her classy dignity and beauty intact for the duration of her long career in Hollywood. Candyman? Electric Dreams? Dune? Highlander II, the Quickening? The Prophecy? My favorite though is Fire With Fire. In that movie she's this Catholic school girl and she falls in love with the hot hot hot hot Craig Sheffer, who is at the local prison camp. They have to run away from the church and the law and their parents. And there's lots of hot PG-13 sex in illicit places. Or at least it seemed hot when I was 12 or 13 and it came on cable. There's all these secret meetings in the wilderness and the graveyard with candles and stuff. Then they have to jump into a waterfall to escape. So dramatic! Lord I loved that movie.
Go Virginia, go! I'm pulling for you. And hey, if you're still interested, Craig Sheffer isn't looking too shabby on One Tree Hill.
