2004-10-05 - 9:47 a.m.
Duff This
I haven't complained about Hilary Duff's asstastic ascendancy into the celebrity stratosphere yet this month, so here we go. I'm now seeing tons of ads for that "Raise Your Voice" movie. This has me annoyed to say the least.
I don't begrudge Disney starlets their Disney stardom. I have enjoyed their group work in the past (The New Mickey Mouse Club, for example). And I appreciate that there is a whole subculture for kids and tweens and my 25 year-old sister that I blessedly never need to interact with. But this Hilary Duff explosion is most unfortunate.
I can see people liking Lindsay Lohan. She has a personality, is attractive, is a good actress, and has a definite edge, for better or for worse. But Hilary Duff? In addition to looking like a duck, the girl has a pronounced lack of charisma and an asexual lack of sizzle that makes even pedestrian romances seem impossible. Chad Michael Murray? Whatever! How does someone so bland and uninteresting become the star of their own show? And have a crappy line of personal products at Target?
And when we get down to the talent portion of our little competition, there's not a lot to discuss here. Duff is not a good actress. She can be passable, but only in that annoying, fake "I'm just like you, except I'm not" way. She always looks like she's auditioning for the role of Sandy in Midvale Junior High's Spring production of Grease, and her only qualifications include a half year stint on JV Pom as a dance leader and a spectacularly boring portrayal of "Flying Monkey #2" in the Fall production of The Wizard of Oz.
Her ill-advised pop career is what it is: ill-advised. It's so bland and unsexy and unedgy that her tour might as well be sponsored by Flintstone's Chewables. She somehow manages to make Asslee Simpson look like Marilyn Manson by comparison.
And now the end time is nigh, for the Duffer is combining her mediocre screen and song talents into this "Raise Your Voice" masterwork. I think John Corbett is also involved. Poor guy. Anyway, this movie seems to have been made to convince the public that her singing is, in fact, a melodious miracle.
From the commercial I saw, the message seems to be "you don't have to sing well to be a great singer." Um, okay. This may be a great idea to sell more bad records, but it's a disservice to young people who are already being confused about what real songcraft is by successive seasons of American Idol. Another troubling message from the trailer is that Duff is "too funky and soulful" for classic choral singing. Yeah. Funky and soulful are two words that WILL NEVER EVER COME TO MIND when any normal person thinks about the Duffer. NEVER EVER. EVER EVER EVER NEVER.
And it'll take a lot more than John Corbett and that pseudo-British kid from "What A Girl Wants" playing more "soulful" electric guitar to convince me. "Raise Your Voice" is destined to become a cable-hatin' classic. Raise THIS, Duff. I'm still not buying any of your crap.
2004-10-04 - 10:15 a.m.
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
We went to see Morrissey on Saturday night, and the show was amazing. It was a very cool crowd and I liked the Tower Theater as a venue a lot more when I "enjoyed" the lyrical stylings of Frente there so many years ago. He did several Smiths songs, including "How Soon Is Now," which sounded so awesome live. Somehow I never thought the wocka wocka could be so magnificent in person as on the album, but of course I was wrong. His voice was amazing and so lovely. It stayed strong throughout the night. He played a lot of his new album, which I liked, but you only have so many chances to see him in person, so would it kill him to play a little "Suedehead" for his #1 fan?
I just love him, and he looked handsome, and he was funny, and the band wore kilts and called themselves "Kilt Uncle" and the big Morrissey sign in flashing letters behind him was simply glorious. I can't say enough about him.
On the theatrical side of things, we finally saw Man On Fire. I liked it. First of all, they used the Mas y Mas y Mas song four separate times. Also, Denzel is pretty good at the whole badass thing. And I wasn't even overly homicidal towards the "adorable" little girl named after Middle Eastern sandwich bread. Denzel brought the sugar sweetness down. Plus, thinking she was totally dead for 90 minutes helped a lot.
There were also some good twists to the story, even though I feel it was totally overdirected by Tony Scott. Imagine Michael Bay and Michael Mann having a baby with ADD and an affinity for John Woo movies. Hell, there was even an avian subplot. I'm surprised Denzel didn't take anyone's "Face/Off" before giving a speech about Pearl Harbor.
The most important thing that I learned watching this movie was that Mr. Jennifer Lopez (aka Marc Anthony) has some form of tubercular scurvy. Man has carry-on luggage beneath his eyes. And he's skinnier than that seven year-old pocket-sandwich bread girl in the lead role. I hope Jenny From The Block makes him eat some cheeseburgers. And Vitamin-C supplements.
So check it out. And go see J-Lo's upcoming Richard Gere dancing movie. It's going to take a lot of sandwiches to get Marc up to his recommended fighting weight.
2004-09-28 - 10:20 a.m.
Yup, I'm No Technical Genius
I changed my template and then changed the design, thereby terminating the changes, and then turned it back. So we should be good now. At least for the next few weeks. I'm pretty sure I'll be moving this site soon.
2004-09-23 - 9:57 a.m.
Sign of the Beast?!?
Last night I was editing some documents for work, and it kept talking about someone owning 666 shares in a company, which translated to 6.66% of the total shares. So that was kinda creepy. Then in the car this morning, when I finally look at my odometer, it reads, 666. Is that the sign of the beast or is that the sign of the beast?
So what does this demonic calling card mean for me? Will I drop a free weight on my foot at the gym tonight? Will a screeching cat fight break out at the grocery store? Will my angry thoughts start making shit levitate like Jean Grey in that X-Men movie? Or worse yet, will I burn the prom to the ground like in Carrie? We'll have to see about that one.
This all reminds me of the time Meredith and I went to Wawa and some grody transient dude sat next to us in the cafe. He told us a story about how he worked in the summer of 1969 and graduated 69th in his high school class and lived at 169 N. 69th Lane in Delaware and had a job once that netted $69k per year. He went on and on with these references (he probably made 69 of them!) until we were tired of watching him scratch his oily, flea bedecked hair and took off.
Yeah, it's just like that. Except with Satan and clean hair.
2004-09-22 - 9:52 a.m.
Clearing Skies
I did it. I was totally honest about my emotions, and everything was put right. I have so much faith right now in us. As hard as it was at first, it is indeed possible to have a confrontation like that and recover from it. Easily even. I guess I am growing up after all. Amazing, isn't it?
2004-09-21 - 9:46 a.m.
I Think Too Much, Again
I had sort of a bad night last night, with a situation that once again tested my ability to let go of an argument. And while I did, I am kind of angry that I did, because I finally am able to articulate why I was so hurt. Now I face the question of holding it in or bringing it up again. Nothing can be changed by starting another round, but maybe I can make him see why his actions made me so upset.
I wish I could let it go. But my morning of clarity cannot be forgotten. The more I think about what happened last night, the more I want to raise hell over it. My problem is, I react emotionally yet quietly at first to give myself time to process. Which means that I'm already drying my tears and telling the other person I'm over it before I've had the space to really think about what is going on.
No, we'll have to have a conversation about it to put it to rest. And move on from there with a better handle on how to relate to each other.
2004-09-20 - 9:18 a.m.
I Missed The Emmys (And I Ain't Too Sad 'Bout It)
I totally just didn't watch the Emmys. At all. Like for real. That's the first time that's happened since I was like a grade schooler. And while that's probably a positive thing, it still makes me a little sad to think about missing out on my annual night of complete and utter misery. Sounds like it was one for the books, too.
On the "Argh" side of things, Kelsey Effin' Grammar won. Allison Effin' Janney won. David Hyde Peirce. It's like I never missed a broadcast. Since they beamed in half of the winners from three years ago, even though their shows are toilet tankers right now. I can get over The Sopranos trophies because they actually have an undisputedly great show. And while I can't stand the scenery-chewing Sex and the City chippies winning, I'll let them pass because they didn't win those before.
Things that were good: Arrested Development. The Daily Show. James Spader (who joins Shatner and Stone this year as winners; bet Dylan McDermott's sideburns were on fire at that!). The Amazing Race.
All of the above should please me, and it does, but I'm still sad that so many posers were nominated and/or won again. Strides are being made though, and maybe next year will be a little better. So keep knockin' our socks off Jen Garner, Kiefer, Victah Gabah, etc. Your day could potentially come. Maybe.
2004-09-15 - 5:12 p.m.
Why Do I Watch Big Brother?
Cowboy is an IDIOT! Now that Nakomis is gone, there is no decent player left in the game. Let alone anyone with half a brain. I can't wait for his buddy Diane to toss him out. Seeing the look on his face when he realized he tossed away a guaranteed $50,000 will be reward enough for putting up with his stupidity for so many weeks. I wish season 2's Evil Doctor Will was eligible to play again. How I miss that devilish grin and those smoother than smooth strategies!
Thankfully The Amazing Race still has my favorite teams in there. Go Chip and Kim!
2004-09-14 - 8:26 a.m.
No Gymmy, No Luck
I started working out at my new gym yesterday, and so far I am not pleased. I don't like the machines thus far because they have fancy-dancy computers. And the calorie totals are not straight forward. And some lady walks around with protein shake shots like we're at Fat Tuesdays on $2 Exotic Shot night. And they don't give you towels for free.
This is going to be an adjustment. Here's hoping it's a little better tonight.
2004-09-13 - 10:51 a.m.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Since I last updated you, I have moved to the suburbs and bought my very first car. Yes, I have a car of my very own. And it's new and shiny. It's the surprisingly feature-filled 2004 Chevy Aveo in Victory Red. I have a sunroof and tons of space and a decent CD/MP3 player and a stylin' rear spoiler. I'm very happy with the purchase, and totally lucky that I didn't have to do any of the negotiating myself. Cause that would have been disastrous.
I am also learning about football, because otherwise I would be all on my own every Sunday and Monday night. It's actually more fun to watch than I thought it would be, although I still prefer a fast-moving basketball or volleyball game. I tell myself that Spencer likes my questions about the sweaty asses on the uniforms and why player X likes such big earrings and how Ontario Soandso and Soandso Culpepper should have a baby and name it Ontario Culpepper, cause that would be cool. But he probably doesn't.
Another thing I'm learning about is the whole sick sick culture of Fantasy Football. The more I learn, the more I realize it's totally obsessive and dorky in ways far beyond my TV obsessions. So I feel far less geeky next to my boyfriend. And for that, I am grateful. Yes, grateful indeed.
2004-09-13 - 10:49 a.m.
Okay, so the pace of my life and work make my usual updating completely impossible. Since everyone else on the planet uses blogness, I'm going to join the party. Hopefully this will inspire me to actually update. I'll be moving this site in the next week or so, so enjoy the old locale while you can!
2004-07-30 - 10:23 a.m.
Donkey Disco
The convention is over now. John Kerry did much better than I ever thought possible, so I feel a little better about voting for him. While he loses points in my book for playing that lame Van Hagar song at the end, a song so tacky it belongs in the credits of Armageddon, he more than made up for it by snubbing John "Corruption and Ignorance Share Billing As My Middle Name" Street on the podium. Well played Senator, well played.
If I was the nominee, I would be introduced with "The Final Countdown," followed by "Welcome to the Jungle." I'd gladhand supporters and kiss my family of mill workers to the sweet strains of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'," then triumphantly work the crowds with "Brick House."
Cause I'd be like a political brick house. Right? Oh forget it!
Dream Watch 2000: I dreamt about the convention. I was on the Guam team. So I was there by myself. But Al Sharpton tried to get me to cast my one vote for him.
What I'm Listening To: South. Music from their web site. Love this band! Buy their albums! Feel their awesomeness!
What I'm Reading: The DaVinci Code...still pretty good I must say.
What I'm Watching: Crossing Jordan on A&E. Again again. I know. But I watched most of it during a phone call, so I'm not even sure about the plot, but it had something to do with Mariel Hemingway as a lesbian talk-show psychiatrist and a knife stained with ostrich blood. I also watched part of Big Brother, which was okay. Can't wait for those headband doofuses to be taken down!
