2004-04-07 - 11:45 a.m.
Doppelgangin'
I have always seemed to attract people who look like other people in my life (e.g. Nick, Nick # 2, Nick #3, Fat Nick; Ugly Older Nick; Ugly Dorky Nick; Nebbishy Accountant Nick, etc.). And lord knows there are many Kristen doubles running around. I only know about a stoner, a criminal, a gynecologist, and a school bus driver, but that's enough. Now I am realizing that my gym is chockful of doubles as well.
First of all, Ugly Dorky Older Nick frequents. And since Nick is a member of my gym, it makes things a little confusing when I see him. I told you all about Michael Vartan, who is a delicious addition to the mix. One guy there even looks like a less attractive version of my boyfriend, which is strange. Since then, however, a couple of others have joined the ranks of the lookalikes.
Last night, out of the blue, Ben Stiller joined the gym. Not just Ben Stiller, but angry insane Ben Stiller. You know, the way he was on Friends when he played Rachel's secretly rageful boyfriend who screamed at Joey's birds? It's disturbing to see him stomp around the gym, and I keep waiting for him to unload on the staff for not wiping the machines down more frequently.
Will Ferrell is another gym regular. I should make that a little clearer. Will Ferrell playing a ridiculous chest-puffing weightlifter, that is. He shouts and makes crappy pants faces and just acts like a general ass in the gym. I think someone told him they're casting for Pumping Iron 2: Pump It Up. I can't stand that guy, even though I always let out an audible chuckle when I see him working his mojo.
The last new body double is the disgruntled and decidedly unfit 5AM desk guy. I called him "Gymmy" in this column before, and our mutual love burns bright to this day. I just realized yesterday though that he kinda looks like The OC's Seth Cohen, but without the extra joyful eyes. No wonder I like seeing him so much!
So there you have it. Doubles doubles doubles, everywhere I go.
Dream Watch 2000: Breakdancing camp.
What I'm Listening To: The OC Soundtrack. Because it kicks ass! Don't make me play CALIFORNIA again.
What I'm Reading: Tales of the Slayer, Volume 3. So far, so good.
What I'm Watching: 24. Michelle kicks ass! Also, I must mark the passing of Crystal Gael, a brave and noble CTU star with the floppiest hair EVA. RIP bro, RIP. I saw One Tree Hill last night too. I still love the show, even with the cheap Bring it On ripoff. "Jazz fingers?" Whatever! As my good friend Sparky Polastri would say: "Those aren't SPIRIT FINGERS. THESE are spirit fingers. And these? ARE GOLDEN."
